Skip Ads! But Don’t Skip Listening

 

My beloved Reader, (Peace and blessing be upon you) 

“You’re not listening!”

“Let me finish!”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Will you just listen to me!”

Has it ever happened to you that someone just picked out certain words from your conversation and made certain views about you? Or do they just keep on interrupting you like YouTube or Spotify Ads? Or at worse, they just don’t listen to you and keep on presenting their views on whatever you have to say?

And when you detach yourself from such people you feel annoyed, unheard and a little burnt out,

Last week during one of many work meetings where I was as usual listening to what needs to be done to meet the optimum productivity percentage. As the meeting progressed, I was asked about my productivity and before I could proceed with my answer, another member chipped in to talk about my behavior & started to explain where I’m lacking and what I need to do to overcome that.

While I was waiting for my chance to speak, someone just thought they knew what I did and what I need to do.

So, I took the matter in my hand and started talking just then another member chimed in to present their views on what I should do, and at that point, all I could remember was YouTube and Spotify Ads and how disturbingly annoying they are.

Not only do they break the link between what I was thinking but at the same time, the connection is lost which I was trying to make.

Me being a person who loves to talk non-stop at that point realized how important it is for the listener to wait patiently and let the speaker finish their train of thought. It reminds me how amazing God is As-Sami (The All-Hearing) and Al-Aleem (The All-Knowing). This attribute not only tells us that he is forever listening to us but also that he is always there to lend a listening ear.

It reminds me of a time when I was facing some serious problem and I was talking to my cousin (may god bless her) about my problems, I remember her telling me, "Talk to God who is All-Hearing, He is waiting for you, talk to him, he is going to listen to you without judging you. And when you talk to him you will feel you are being heard and understood”.

Last week after that meeting incident, I self-analyzed what I need to do instead of talking non-stop and interrupting others (I realized I sometimes do the same thing just like what happened to me in that meeting) I should stop and listen more often.

Because It’s incredible when you let the speaker feel that they are being heard and deeply understood. 

Now when I did make up my mind, I researched how one can become a better listener which led me in finding an amazing book by Kate Murphy called "You Are Not listening". 

What I learned from Kate is:

·       Don't assume anything rather ask and listen (without prejudice)

·       Be curious to listen to what others have to say

·      Thinking you already know how a conversation will go down kills curiosity

·       Listening is how you discover the person behind the face 

·   What I know and what they know is different so be quiet and let the people unpeel themselves.

Living in a time were speaking out and leading the talk is more important we often forget that listening is more valuable than speaking. Because when we listen, we learn something which we weren’t aware of.

Talking about oneself all the time doesn’t add anything to our knowledge as we already know who we are. So now when you leave a conversation ask yourself:

·      What did I learn about that person?

·      What was the thing that was bothering them while they were in conversation with me?

·      How did that person feel about what we were talking about?

Sometimes human don’t seek for your opinion but rather they just want to be known that they are being heard and understood.

                               

With Love,

Asma