Are you putting yourself first?

My beloved Reader, (Peace and blessing be upon you)  

I've to reveal something which I think might shock you first but then you might come to resonate with it at the same time as you read further.   

But first, ask yourself has it ever happened to you when someone did something for you once, then out of admiration or as a gesture of thankfulness you started placing them first in everything? Even when you didn't agree with their ideas or actions you put aside your thoughts and feelings and put them first though sometimes their actions are hurting you?  

In this worldly life where we are linked to some of the other people for our fulfillment, and when that fulfillment is provided to us by them (they act as a medium between us and God) we somehow tend to start placing them first in everything, don't we?   

Last week I came across one such situation and it opened my eyes (by the grace of God). Like a morning routine, I have a list of things that I need to do before I begin my day. And that is to make dua (pray).   

So last week on one such day, I begin to make a dua as usual and ended my dua by asking God to help me grow in my life and help me start putting myself first. You see I've been praying daily now and I've always ended my prayer by asking God to fulfill my needs and wants at the very last.   

Sometimes out of desperation I would directly start my prayer by asking God to fulfill my desperate needs and wants. The entire time when I would pray there would be a thought in the back of my head saying how self-centered you are Asma, you don't care about others you solely think of yourself.   

And I would instantly feel guilty and I would stop right then and there and pray for others first and then at the end of my prayer I would pray for myself.    

But last week when I finished making a dua and asked God to help me start putting myself first, a thought struck me, and like a whisper, it came and said, "How many times has it happened that you have put yourself first without thinking about what others might think of you?"  

The answer was spontaneous, "A few very times".   

And the answer itself opened my eyes and made me realize, if I don't put myself first then why do I expect others to put me first. And when they don't do that, why does it sadden my heart?   

Starting that day, I'm trying to put myself first in ways I didn't do earlier. So this is what I've been doing lately, When I feel I'm in a situation where I've to choose between pleasing others by putting them first even if doing that might hurt me.   

I step back and think:  

1.Will pleasing them provide me comfort and make my relationship strong with them?  

2. Am I holding myself back by putting them first?  

3. While I'm busy taking care of them who is going to take care of me?  

If you are a person who doesn't know that there is a fine line between choosing yourself first and not being arrogant to others at the same time, here are the things I've been trying to do which might help you as well:   

  

1. Take a balanced path where you subtlety choose yourself first and at the same time don't make others feel dismissive.  

2. Own the space in your own life rather than filling the space with others' opinions and judgments of you.   

3.  You are responsible for your happiness so do what makes you happy rather than depending for your  happiness on others.   

You should remember you can't go and change your past but you can change your present which will change your ending. 

 

Remember you can't fill someone else's glass when yours is empty.  

 

With Love,

Asma